When it is a Click

I had it when we picked grapes in France and I had it again a few weeks ago, while harvesting olives. I also get it when I am busy in my vegetable garden and get the water from the century-old acequia.

This article is part of a series on getting more confident in the flow of life.

A sense of connection.

A connection to the land but more importantly, to a long tradition. A tradition without frills, because the work on the land is hard. But when I climb the olive tree, rub my hands along the branches and hear the olives fall to the ground, I know that thousands, here in Spain mainly women, have gone before me and many will continue to do this work after me. I feel part of a long history.

Meanwhile, I also feel part of a group. In december for example, we helped Pilar, a 74-year-old widow. Together with her son, we harvested some seven hundred kilos of olives and when we were ready, we found her standing proudly in her small kitchen next to a fully set table, ready to serve us a delicious meal.

Connection.

Besides 'being', we cannot do without connection. For me to trust that life will bring me what I need, a good neighbour is indispensable.

But connection goes deeper than that.

A connection, in my opinion, is above all a feeling. The proverbial click I have with something or someone, which sometimes cannot even be explained in words. For me, a connection therefore consists mainly of energy. And that can be positive and negative.

After all, a connection can also cost energy. Just think of a visit to an acquaintance, after which you feel completely exhausted. Or the amount of stuff you no longer use but want to get rid of. And how about that whole series of e-mails you still have to answer. Connections, where the energy goes 'the wrong way'.

And that's why connecting with something or someone requires quite a bit from me, because a good connection doesn't happen automatically.

It requires commitment: I have to make the effort to make the connection by being curious about the other person.

It requires integrity: am I trustworthy in my words and my actions so that others can count on me?

It requires sincerity: if I am clear and honest about what I and the other person need, I can act accordingly in goodness.

It also requires respect: I have to know where my boundaries and those of the other person are and be respectful of them.

But I think the most important thing is self-respect, because I can only meet another person respectfully and with full openness where I also respect myself.

So connection is 'being', but with a little extra. In the English language, you have a nice word for that, 'belonging'. It is the feeling of being a part of a greater whole, of belonging to something more than yourself and having a deep relationship with it.

Therefore, learning to 'be' was an important step in my process. And especially being where my intuition is, where I am connected to my soul.

Recently I started doing Qi-gong once a week. We meet in the village park and do energy exercises for an hour. Qi, in fact, is Chinese for life energy. The life energy is in everything around you and with the Qi-gong exercises you move this energy back and forth.

Qi gong thereby assumes that in your body there are three suns, three energy points, in your lower abdomen, in your heart and in your head. And that there are also five gateways where energy flows in and out of your body, your palms, the soles of your feet and your crown.

Standing there like that, my gaze fixed on the mountainous surroundings, lifting energy from the earth to the sky, returning the energy of the sky to the earth, all through my body, I and my body are nothing but a bridge between heaven and earth.

I am the connection.

I am in connection.

"Remember, the door to the sanctuary is within you." - Rumi

There, in that moment, I discovered a place where I truly found a sense of belonging, where I feel so much more confident in life, where I can draw certainty and self-confidence.

My heart.

I discovered that on my back, just behind my heart is a kind of little door that gives me access to the unconditional love energy, the Qi, of the universe, of everything that is. I felt the connection to all that is and felt carried by a love I will never lose. By an energy that never runs out and feeds my soul.

My heart is the gateway to everything around me. From me 'being' there I make connections with my heart, with you, with the earth, with the universe. But my heart is also my safe haven, filled with love through the right connections.

If you want to continue reading (with a delicious tea on the sofa): give yourselve these two books as a gift:

If women rose rooted by Sharon Blackie (also has a lovely blog here on substack)

Belonging by Toko Pa Turner

In the last post in this series on confidence, I want to talk to you about Pleasure. If you want to make sure you don't miss my latest posts, subscribe via the button below.

And until then, remember that

"The centre of your heart is where life begins. The most beautiful place on earth." - Rumi

Until then!

Love,

Daphne

P.s. If you feel like chatting with me about connection, leave a message below. I'm curious about what you think about the topic of connection.