First, let's get acquainted. I am Daphne, tea lover, opinionated, contrarian thinker and writer.
At times theatrical and eccentric, but mostly a quiet observer, a critical thinker who asks raw questions and expects honest answers. With a teaspoon full of compassion, I pen down my thoughts and feelings about our world here, where depth, diversity and connection are more a standard feature than a one-off.
I was always good at be-thinking. I loved bombarding my mother with hundreds of why questions, then questioning her answers again with what-ifs. When I finally got the hang of it, I read book after book after book, my curiosity was hard to satisfy. I devoured books on our history, other cultures and psychology, but most of all I loved getting lost in great fantastic stories about magical worlds full of invisible powers, unexplainable events and extraordinary creatures.
Going with all the winds
Despite this diversity of interests, or perhaps because of it, I easily looked at things from the other side during discussions: every view seemed logical to me, there was some truth in everything and therefore it was difficult for me to decide who was right. Sometimes I was therefore accused of going with the wind. So for a long time I thought this was a weakness of mine, but that it was actually a talent that served me well soon became clear to me when my inner world was turned upside down.
Please act normal
For years I tried hard to do mostly normal: buy a house, get a full-time job that I like, go on holiday twice a year. But that never really matched how I would like it. My house especially felt way too big, a 40-hour-a-week job I didn't get around and on holidays I didn't really miss my home life. I dreamed of a different way, yet I continued to live the way others lived it before me and kept that little protesting voice hidden.
Not my way
It was only when I emigrated to America, leaving behind my roots in Europe for a relationship and a nice house, that I noticed how much I had lost myself. After four years of trying to have a good time there, I was caught off guard. That little voice could no longer keep its mouth shut: this way of life was not for me. In three seconds I decided to give up everything and three weeks later I was back in the Netherlands.
"Being on a spiritual path does not prevent you from facing times of darkness. But it teaches you how to use darkness as a tool for growth." -Jack Kornfield
I soon realised that I was not going to be happy there either and decided this time to really figure out how I wanted to live now. And that had to be my way, not by buying, working and escaping, but by exploring, looking at the options from all sides and, above all, questioning them. With everything I had left in a 30-litre bagpack and immeasurable freedom to go where I wanted, I set out. I took ample time for my search, as the first answer is not always immediately the right one. I firmly believed that from many different experiences a new way of life would crystallise by itself.
But during those three years of wandering in the mountains of northern Spain, in search of other possibilities of being, my own inner landscape in particular received a major clean-up. What turned out to be an unexpected side effect of searching for my roots resulted in the most intense, painful but also most golden years of my life.
The freedom and constant changing of accomodation plunged me deep into myself, where I was confronted with my forgotten dreams, my disillusions, the unconscious and unwanted parts of my being.
Through the dark forest
In those few years, I discovered that sometimes you have to explore groping in the dark, questioning what you encounter and feeling the honest answers down to your bones, simply because there is no other way out.
And after those few years, I discovered that if you then dare to go through that scary dark forest, you will find a treasure chest full of gold on the other side. Now, five years after starting my quest, I can say that I came out of that special wonderland with answers I would never have found otherwise.
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." - Wayne Dyer
I discovered that I am someone who dares to see and question the dark side of herself, others and our world, because I know that if you seek truth you must also be able to handle reality. I navigate the dark waters of our world, diving into unexplored depths where I discover new ideas about our evolution, history, the cycles and patterns of our world.
Weaving a new story
More than two years ago, I started a blogging adventure. With a cup of good tea, a sweet made by my love, in a small caravan in southern Spain, I wrote every fortnight about my quest and the sometimes confusing outside world. The project, like me and my home, has since undergone several transformations and has increasingly become a love affair with my own way of questioning, of telling and of articulating.
During the last transformation, I started to see this love affair more and more as a gift, a gift to myself but also to my readers. A gift is free and comes into the world without any expectations, but a gift is also honest, raw and sometimes hard to accept. Here, therefore, you won't find sweet biscuits and woolly small talk. Nor will you get my columns in your digital mailbox at a fixed time.
Because I only write my columns after a spontaneous dive into the murky waters of the subjects that touch me. During a walk with the dogs, when my hands are tilling the earth or while harvesting tomatoes, my thoughts go there without any warning in search of hidden treasures. Once resurfaced with all these insights, I feel the desire to weave a new story with them. My story, your story, our story.
Are you going to travel with me?
In my columns I take you to those sometimes dark depths, to the places where not so many dare to go and share with you the self-wisdom I found there. I weave that new story in the hope that you too will find a treasure that will help you further on your special path. A treasure that helps you find your own words, a love affair with your own story.
Are you ready? Then journey with me. Sign up and explore a different side: of yourself, the other, the world!
I see you there,